Ever since starting my university life, it feels like my year begins in June/July rather than January. So, writing this now feels a little weird, because it doesn't feel like a whole year has already passed-- but it has. Time is objective that way. Immaterial to individual feelings.
Why am I writing this? I've read many articles on how keeping journals/ diaries are a good way of keeping your life in check. But what really made me do it was because I saw a friend doing it and I thought that it was a good move. Actually, I've always written posts like this at the end of every year, just that they weren't official recaps, per se.
Throughout the Autumn-Winter semester, I was never able to fully focus on my degree course. Learning is all a matter of exposure, in my opinion. Thankfully I still HAVE an opinion. I don't mean to be ungrateful, but in Mechanical Engineering there is a lack of critical thinking. At least about general stuff, not sure about pin jointed structures or stress-strain graphs.
If you were to ask me what happened from January through December, I can honestly say I don't remember. Thankfully, I wrote down the important stuff in my blog here and while it is true that the small things do matter, it's not like we can neglect the big ones either. That's just my way of justifying my forgetfulness.
Let's first talk a little bit about how my Q4 went. I spent most of it regretting taking Mechanical Engineering. I was doubtful, because it didn't seem like 'me'. It's not hard to see that I'm not your typical, quiet, bookwormish engineer. And the transition from Chemical Engineering to M.E. was harder that I thought. Do you know how it feels like to be alone in a room full of familiar faces?
It's still fine if I was alone in a room filled with people I didn't know. But it hurts quite a lot when they're your friends-but-not-really-friends . Obviously they were like that because our friendships didn't quite work out when we were classmates back in our foundation year. So we were basically on friendly terms, and that's about it.
It's also kinda hard that two of my closer friends changed universities after completing their foundation. I thought that I could at least turn to them for some solace outside of class. With the two of them gone, I also lost my contacts with their friends as well. You could say that they were the bridge linking two groups together.
Was I thinking too much at this point? Most people will say yes.
But as things usually do, they got better as time went on. Granted, when I go to class I'm still pretty much alone. It's hard to get use to, when I always had a group of friends ready for me back in Chem E. I always had a place, so to speak. Not anymore. But it's great to see that my group of friends are doing well and maintaining what I influenced them to do-- sit in front of class and pay attention while the lecturer is teaching. Yet, at the same time, it's also sad to see that they're fine without me, as if I wasn't that important after all.
I met Isaiah's friend, Peanut (Ngau Wah Sheng). He's a good guy, and we get along. Although I think I'm taking over Isaiah's role of corrupting him. I feel a little bad, because he's so innocent and naive. But I don't think I'm that bad of an influence. We do hang out from time to time but that's about it I guess. Oh, and he says we should draw a comic together. I think it'll be fun. Just like how Tukang and I used to be I guess.
Talking about studies, I don't think I've been doing too well. Sure, I did get inducted into the Dean's List based on my foundation year results. Some of my friends have said that my name's there, in front of the faculty office, but personally I've not gone to see it yet.Anyway, back to the point. No, I'm not doing too well. It's hard to study when you don't see the purpose of it. Not just studying, but anything, really.
I've not been giving too much of my attention in class while lectures are going on. It's not a good thing, I know. I'm hoping to change that with my mindset now. You see, if you pay attention in class, even if you don't study, you can still somewhat answer the exam questions. I don't know how I'm going to pull through this time though. What's even worse is that the idea of being unable to finish studying everything I need to is causing me to not even begin studying anything. That's terrible indeed.
Putting studies aside, I've been actively participating in the Nottingham Buddhist Society. I don't think I've been doing such a good job, but things seem to be going well to this point. Hui Jiun said she was jealous of me because I was selected to do a number of front office work-- speaking, publicising, being the master of ceremonies. Sumana also put me in charge of writing summaries of our events, which I'm thankful for for being able to keep writing even after I've stopped taking English modules anymore.
Speaking of writing, there was once when I asked Celestine and Yi Xin (both in my committee) to write the summaries. And it's refreshing, I think, to see different writing styles. Mine was more objective, impartial, to the point. Celestine's was more fun, emotions, and adjectives. Yi Xin's was like an article in a magazine. Catches your attention and keeps it.
Anyway, back to co-curricular activities-- I feel that the NBS has given me a number of opportunities to learn and improve myself, just like they did back in my Foundation year. Joining this club has been one of the best decisions I've made so far. It feels almost like a pity that I want to go to Nottingham UK next year, as Sumana had planned on me taking over presidency after her term. I guess I must've been doing pretty well, after all.
Also, through NBS activities, I've made a number of new friends. Through facebook, that number numbers around 150 people. But to be honest, I think around 20 is more realistic.
I've also started watching out for my health this year. I'm still young, yes, but I gained an interest in reading health journals and sports articles. I've tried preaching to my family about what I've learnt, and although 80% isn't going through, I'm still glad that they're listening to the 20% though. Any help is better than no help at all. My mom's been complaining that she's been putting on weight ever since her retirement. I don't blame her, after all, she's stopped working but she still eats just as much (more?). But what I would really hope is that my elder sister would learn something. Because, honestly, she kinda scares me with the way she eats. All those processed, junk stuff, late night eating and stuff. But well, this blog isn't about her. It's about me. And if I'm worrying about her more than she is, well, I can only say that that's her problem to solve at this point.
ENOUGH ABOUT THAT!
I've spent a lot of time reading about nutrition. What to eat, and what eating certain foods can do to your body. It's really interesting. I was formerly about 65kg, but now my weight has been hovering around 55-58kg. I think that's a good thing. If anyone, still reading this post to this point, has any questions about nutrition and food and exercise, feel free to ask me. I'll be more than glad to help.
Talking about spending, this year I did spend quite a bit of money. I bought three new pairs of shoes. Badminton (RM 80), Running ( RM 380), and Basketball (RM210). I might've overdone it with my running shoes, but hey, I think it's a good buy. If you think about it, RM 380 over the course of 2 years is more than worth it. But I guess getting into the Dean's List, and consequently the waiver I got covers it.
Besides shoes, I bought quite a number of sports clothes too. Mostly ranging about RM 50 each.
My biggest expenditure, I think, was covering the cost of my small car accident. RM 580. Although I think I've been ripped off. The cost for repairing my car was about RM 300, that include spraying, repainting, knocking, and fixing the rust on my roof and changing the break lights.
As a final recap of the year, because I feel this post is dragging on to be too long, I would like to say that 2012 was okay for me. Could be better, I feel, but then again, who's to say, yeah? After all, I did make new friends whom I'll cherish, I'm sure. I've changed quite a bit, too.
To end this post, I'd like to talk a little bit about my thoughts for the upcoming year.
Honestly, I don't know what to expect from 2013. In some ways, you could say I wasn't expecting 2013. If everything goes as planned, in September I'll have to say goodbye to Malaysia for a year. But firstly I'll have to focus on my exams. I have to score higher than 55 for every subject, which I think, although not too difficult, isn't something I should take lightly either.
There are still some things I'd like to say, but I guess I won't, because maybe one day I'd come to regret revealing everything over the internet. So, I won't.
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