I have some personal issues-- things that are fundamentally wrong in the way I carry myself, my thoughts and the mental anguish I needlessly put myself through.
For one thing, I get irritated very easily.
But the good thing about it is that I guess I don't get angry-- I just get irritated. However, my tongue seems become a hundred times sharper at that point and I'll hurt everyone around me.
Or maybe I just call it irritated, when I am actually angry. Maybe that's just the way I express my anger.
...
I am a competitor. Whenever there's a win-lose situation, as most competitions are, I try my hardest to win. I honestly do. Because if I don't, then why am I wasting my precious time by not giving it my all?
That's all fine and well if I could live my life alone. But I get irritated when people don't feel the same way. But right now, as I'm typing this, I believe my irritation is justified as, due to people not willing to commit to something, it's dragging me down as well, and directly wasting my time.
But maybe my stance will change after I've calmed down.
When I don't win, then that means I lose. Sure, some people may say, I can gain something even though I lost. But I'm a winner. And winners don't lose.
Where does this big-headedness and self confidence come from? I don't know. It was always there.
I do believe my mom had a big part in creating that part of me. And I don't mean that in a good way.
I suppose I'll change my mind again when morning comes. I'd be all Happy! and Smiley! and the "usual me" once more.
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