The Forked Road (POEM)

The Forked Road that forced us to part,
was the Forked Road that broke my heart.
With you I would have gladly walked together,
But we both knew that was possible never.

The time soon came when you had to go,
Staying at the fork we both smiled once more.
With a brief hug and solemn goodbyes,
You took the first step and averted your eyes.

Long I stood there hoping you would stop,
and turn around and say that you would stay.
For another minute, for another day,
Even another second would be okay.

But my wishes were dry,
just like the sky without a star for me to wish by.
And continue you did, down your own path,
leaving me behind without a half.

Hours turned to days, and days turned to weeks,
I slowly walked my road with hesitation.
For every step I took away,
I took another back to that day.

For how could I allow it if you ever started thinking
that you wanted to come back but there was nobody there waiting?
And so I still waited for that little 'if', little 'maybe',
that one day you might come back and you could then save me.

My brain says 'Leave!', my heart says "No!
A miracle can't happen if you let go."
And to that, so far, I have followed my heart;
But I think it's about time I learnt my part.


I have to leave-- I know it is so.
With feet heavy, I left the Forked Road.

Post-Chinese New Year and Learning Badminton

So everyone's over and done with Chinese New Year. Actually, it isn't over till next week for Chap Goh Mei, or the Chinese Valentine's day or something. CNY was fun-- lots of food and meeting my friends and classmates again after so long was really, really, refreshing. And I've got to say that I do miss them a lot. As people say, new friends are silver, old friends are gold. My take is that both are equally valuable although at times it's hard to choose one from the other.

I don't have much to write for CNY since I spent most of it with my cousins. I felt like my aunts and uncles were competing or something, each treating everyone to 8-10 course meals every night. The food was good though, but sad to say I couldn't finish them like I used to. Either I started eating less, or my cousins (them being mostly girls). Either way, a lot of food went wasted and it was really regretful.

 On the fourth day, also known as St. Valentine's day, I went visiting with my friends.

Basically this (and its variations) became the cover photo of quite a number of us there. Nothing much to add, except a shoutout to Jasmine.

We miss you so bad! We actually considered editing you into the photo, but then decided not to. Soon it's gonna be my turn to feel this way. Thinking of this, it actually reminds me of a short video clip here CLICK HERE FOR TOUCHING MOVIE
Although apart, forever in heart. :')

And boom bam, CNY was over. I also lost some RM 100. Damn it.

ANYWAY!

Back to Nottingham Malaysia. Classes progressing as usual-- pretty hectic and I'm still a little struggling to cope. Today was my FIRST time EVER learning how to play badminton. And I discovered so many things wrong with me. Well, I'm really tired at this point. So, I'll end it here. GOOD NIGHT!

Just some thinking.

"Memory can only do so Much"

I created this blog to help me remember/ record down important events that happen to me in my life. I.e. "things I want to remember".

Today (in fact it was just about an hour ago), something bad happened. Well, I won't really elaborate much on that because after some thinking, I decided that I didn't want to remember it some months from now.

It's just that, it got me thinking. Would I want to remember all the bitter stuff that happens to me? Looking back through my posts, I realize that the majority of it are happy stuff, a fair number of neutral stuff, and a few negative things.

I was never one to hold grudges or keep hating on anything. I understood that it would do bullocks to my health and my psyche. So sometimes I may have a predisposed dislike for someone, but if you were to ask me "why?" I'd say I can't remember because well, I don't. And it's just a slight dislike, is all.

Now, back to present day. Immediately after the incident, I was so heated I could've written an A+ 1119 English Essay well over a thousand words because the words would just flow. Well, I exaggerate. But you get my point. I reached the stage where my mind would be generating negativity and hatred in overdrive mode and eventually make me depressed throughout the night and possibly the following morning.

Why did I stop myself, took a few deep breaths, and smiled? Because that's what I thought a person should do. A person who is able to uphold at least his or her own code of conduct.

But then again, if I were to write it down, maybe in future I could use it as reference, you know? Bring it up in another argument to unfairly tilt the scale in my favour. Oops, there goes, I let the cat out of the bag. That's about as much as I'm going to say about what someone did to me.

I'm all up for arguments and debates. I'm a pretty good debater myself (self-proclaimed). At times I even relish in playing the Devil's advocate, just to have a battle of wits, you know? No offense or hurtful words, just intelligence. Of course, it's definitely difficult to find someone to do that with you nowadays, when the loudest voice and the hardest heads generally win.

I'm straying off topic again. As you can see, I guess I'm still a little bitter. It's just been an hour, after all.

My argument for writing down the bad things is that maybe I'd learn from them in time. But I daresay I would end up doing something completely despicable like bringing up issues from years ago that can make the other party feel guilty and potentially give you unfair advantage.

My argument against that is simply that I'd be a happier person. And I think that's a good enough reason.

Maybe another argument for writing them down is that I might be secretly hoping someone would find my diary, blog, and everything else one day and realise just what they did to me and start crying, you know? Like in those movies.


Nah, I kid.

..

It's something like confessing to someone, isn't it, in a way? Telling that person everything you've felt so far and waiting for his or her reaction. Well, not like I would know. I've never confessed to anyone yet up till this point. Or been confessed to. It's like something I want to do, yet at the same time am so afraid of doing.

Wait-- I'm straying from the topic again. Well, nevermind. Let's cut it off here.