Why be Mindful?

It's human nature for our minds to wander... don't worry if your mind wanders. When you realise that your mind's all over the place, bring it back. The more often you can remember to bring it back, the better you become at being aware of yourself. Train yourself to come back more often, rather than staying present for longer periods. The best time to train yourself to be more mindful is when you are not mindful.

When you are aware-- mindful of yourself, of your mind-- you are able to immediately recognize your feelings, emotions and thoughts, the quality of your steps-- whether light or heavy, and the quality of your breath--whether shallow or deep.

The quality of your breath and that of your steps are good indicators of the quality of your life. So, put all your attention into taking your one step, one step at a time; and all your attention into your one breath, one breath at a time... slowly, but surely, and without distractions.

We all have somewhere to go, and something to do. But there is no need to hurry. Don't rush and end up losing the guaranteed present for the unsure future or the already gone past.

Remember, be mindful and aware of your breath and steps. Breathe!
May you be well and happy!

2014, The "Growing Up" Year

As with all year ends and beginnings, I try my best to reflect on my year by means of a year-in review and give my thoughts on the upcoming year as a sort of reality check to see what I've been doing with my life, and whether I've been making reasonably good use of the time available to me (understanding that I'm far from perfect).

For me, it's difficult to view 2013 and 2014 separately as the highlights of both years centre around me being in UK and my consequent travels around Europe. As I've mentioned before, I've already gotten used to the feeling that my years begin in September and end in July, coinciding with the British academic calendar, ever since enrolling in Nottingham University. So, it doesn't really feel like a new year to me, even if 2014 is being escorted off the centre stage as I'm banging away on my keyboard like this.

Overall, I would say 2014 feels like a 'growing up' year to me, because of all the exposure I've gotten from backpacking through Italy and Greece. 2014 has treated me rather well, I might add, seeing as I'm gratefully still alive even though I've flown cross-country multiple times in light of the aviation tragedies this year. Not to mention that I've had people I've held dearly and known personally pass away en route to their destinations this year, but I would not like to elaborate on that as it would make me irrevocably depressed. But ultimately, I'm very, very, grateful to be alive and the concept of memento mori has just gotten a lot clearer to me. Alongside the fact that I've become, by legal definition, an adult this year, 2014 really feels like it has forced me to grow more than I would have liked.

I suppose I've sort of been suffering from a case of finding a place to belong to, ever since coming back from UK. I faced a similar problem back in my first year when I switched courses to Mechanical Engineering, and 2012 wasn't a very good year for me. This time around, though, I suppose I'm coping pretty well. Maybe it's all the growing up I've been doing, but I don't feel all that lonely all the time anymore. I mean, I still do, sometimes, of course, for want of a few people I can just call up and hang out with anytime without giving two hoots about what other people might think about us. But I feel like my relationships with my friends have become somewhat... fragmented-- broken into separate parts that don't quite fit together. It's like I'm close with a few people, but all of them are from separate groups and they don't quite get along with each other too well. It's a pretty complicated feeling, as I'm not used to, and am not competent in, one-to-one conversations.

Another thing that has been weighing on my mind recently is the advent of finding a significant other. To be honest, I've never really given much thought on this issue. I've always had the idea that, if it happens, it happens-- that there was no need to proactively do anything but live life as usual. Am I mistaken? I don't know. But as I've grown older, it's gotten pretty clear that more of my friends have gotten romantically attached, and while I'm not at all against the notion, I feel that, as it stands, I already have quite a lot on my plate and my hands are already quite full. Furthermore, as my mother would so eloquently put it, "if she makes your heart beat faster and faster and faster, and your knees go weak...then you'll know". But I don't know. It's been irritating me for quite a bit, actually, all this "you'll know it when it happens" kind of thing. I don't know it.
*insert deep sigh here*

Putting that aside, I've also mused over the idea of writing, and my future with it. Considering that almost every long, over-1000-word, status I write takes me well over an hour to produce, I wonder if I'll actually get far, if anywhere, with my writing. Even the poems I write only happen if I do get an inspiration somehow, and are inconsistent as they come. Family and friends tell me I write well, and I appreciate the generous encouragement I've been getting. I'm lucky, in that sense, that I am able to surround myself with positive people most of the time. One of my life dreams is to ultimately have one of my books published, and I suppose, with my constant ramblings, I am slowly working my way there.

Well, at any rate, the time limit I've set for myself has all but expired. It's exactly 12:01, 1 January 2015, as of this post getting published. I don't have many expectations for 2015, but in general, I hope 2015 treats me well too. May this year bring us happiness and joy, and may we all be well and happy, free from suffering, as we traverse through the year together. Thank you for being together with me throughout all the years, and I hope we'll continue to remain friends even in future.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Again, I neglect writing.

Writing-- it's a skill just like anything else. Not everyone is magically born scripturient-- to have that consuming calling to write. Even so, writing is just as much an integral part of our academically-oriented lives as other skills such as reading and presenting. Yet, the emphasis is often placed on areas other than the art of penmanship. Why is it so?

Even then, with the onus having been placed on ourselves alone, time and time again, it is so easy to neglect brushing up on our ability to weave words into impeccable sentences and paragraphs owing to our supposedly always-busy lifestyle. What, exactly, are we busying ourselves on, that we can neglect developing something so fundamental to us?

Of Rambling and Hillwalking: Snowdon and Glyder Fawr and Glyder Fach

Over the weekend, I, following the Rambling and Hillwalking Society, went to Snowdonia and climbed 3 peaks-- Snowdon, the highest, and the two rocky mountains of Glyder Fawr and Glyder Fach. 

Snowdon is the highest peak in England and Wales, towering at 1085m. Most of the ~14km hike via Rhyd Ddu was pretty smooth until we got to the ridge known as Bwlch Main. Well, I have about 0 experience with climbing mountains, so maybe if I say that it was difficult, it wasn't really. But to me, it was positively nerve-wrecking. The ridge was the narrow, steep, long-fall-on-both-sides type of path. All I could think about was 'one step at a time...' and 'don't look down'. The strong wind blowing and the mist didn't help one bit. The final ascent up to the Trig Point of Snowdon was another challenging bit because it became too steep to walk and I had to climb (ramblers call it scrambling?).

These photos were taken around the peak of Snowdon, when the fog cleared up a little bit. Can't see much, but remember; the fog had cleared a little when it was taken so try to imagine how thick it was when I was actually climbing up-- can't really see further than a few metres.

Descending Snowdon was another nightmare altogether. People who know me know that I'm absolutely terrified of high places and can feel vertigo easily. So I was practically planting my bottom on the rocks (rather painful experience) and making extremely slow progress down the slope. It was more of a mental strain than a physical one on the descent.

Anyway, I managed to climb up and down Snowdon safely, covering around 14km of hills and ascending 1085m to the peak. The whole hike took around 7-8 hours.

I actually climbed a little higher than the 1085m point, so I guess I can safely say I climbed till 1100m?

Walking into the clouds. Didn't take many photos once I was in them because I couldn't see anything.

Drama shot at a clearing at the peak. Hahaha.

Traveling Experiences #1

I've been thinking-- I've not written much lately. And generally, if I don't write stuff down I tend to forget them.

At our age (20...) I feel that it's far more important to learn than to enjoy. Of course, we can't just learn 24/7, 365 days in a normal year because learning is oftentimes both mentally and physically exhausting.

I've traveled more this year than I have in my whole life thus far. To be honest, the thought of sitting down in trains for 10 hours, or waiting at the airport for 6 hours to fly (oh heavens, no!) for another 3 hours would completely deter me from travelling away from the comfort of my home had I been in Malaysia. However, since I was fortunate enough to be given the opportunity to be studying (or rather, at the point of me writing this, I have officially finished my academic year abroad so I guess 'studying' isn't really the right word to use anymore...) in the UK as an exchange student, I figured I might as well make the most of my time here.

I told myself that I'd write down everything I've learnt from my travels. And so far, I haven't been doing that. You see, living so far away from home, you are given complete control over what you want to do in a day. Generally, when I have too many choices, I tend to make the lazy choice of not really doing anything. So. As it is apparent... the long posts I make on Facebook aren't the ones that are being saved. I should've probably wrote them into this blog. I mean, that was the whole point of me writing my blog anyway.

That being said, I'm going to procrastinate again because it's 4.02 a.m. and I can hear the birdsong outside my window. And yes. The sky is already kinda bright. No, I'm not joking. In Summer, the Sun is in the sky from 5 am ish till 9pm onwards. And although it isn't as warm as Malaysia's scorching 35 C, the intensity of the Sun rays here are quite a bit higher, I reckon. But I can't even remember how the Sun in Malaysia feels like anymore. It's been so long.

Nottingham Malaysian Festival 2014

This was written on the midnight of 22 March 2014. 

Nottingham Malaysian Festival 2014 has come to an end. I'm just trying to write down my thoughts and feelings concerning the event-- although I believe lack of sleep (and the fact that it's already so late) is impeding my ability to do so. I talk more about my feelings in my blog, and keep things (relatively) short here. And of course, I'll be writing from my point of view and that it is likely that I would have missed out a lot background things not immediately obvious. Nevertheless, let us carry on.

It wouldn't be fair to talk about the wonderful event that happened on 22 March 2014 without bringing up the countless hours that went into making the event into such a big success in the first place. I daren't say that I had as much to worry about as the organisers of the festival did, whom had their work cut out for them months ago, but in the past month, amid towering coursework and tailgating deadlines, trying to squeeze in the time to practice dancing and drumming was definitely not easy. But somehow, we all managed anyway. Every practice session was great fun and that made the successful M.Fest 2014 all that much sweeter.

I predict that there was around a 100 performers excluding volunteers and crew. As you can see, it was no small event. While I'm biased, I honestly thought that the flash mob dance group had practiced the most for this event, with close to 7 hours of practicing a week; however, it was apparent, upon seeing the fruition of every other group's hard work, that everyone had put in their due diligence to ensure the highest standard of performance they could afford with the limited time given to us.

Some of you may know that I had the honour of being the one in charge of creating a routine for the bucket drumming performance prior to the flash mob. At first, I was hesitant-- reluctant, even, to take charge of that group because I had no experience with hitting buckets, but mainly because the due date for the biggest project this academic year was a few days before the event itself. I was 50/50 about it until V-Shenn gave me a slight push and tilted my thinking balance into 'oh heck why not' mode. If I'm going to study abroad for a year, I definitely don't want to be a social shut in getting good marks but not going out, meeting new people and living life. At first, I was a little irritated because the bucket drumming idea came in about a week after dance practice had started. I had to create a routine and then find people who were interested to hit buckets (I'll be honest here, I never expected such an eager response). And then I had to teach my drummers how to play as well, with only about a fraction of the time that we had to practice dancing. I also didn't have much confidence in my abilities and honestly, I kept doubting myself-- which affected the way I lead the others.

I can, with utmost confidence, say that I'm glad I decided to do the bucket drumming in the end because I got to meet (and know better) people who are enthusiastic, committed, helpful, and downright awesome. Also, that feeling when I held a pair of brand new drumsticks in my hands after not touching a drum set for over half a year-- heaven!

Drumming aside, I definitely did not regret joining the flash mob either. Funny, because initially I was going to ignore M.Fest altogether. The last time I danced was back in form 4 and (somehow) I felt that I wouldn't fit in with all the 'hip' people usually associated with dancing.

I daresay you wouldn't be able to find a more upbeat group of people anywhere else. But then again, I, sadly, didn't have the chance to interact with everyone in the flash mob group.

All our hard work culminated on the 22 March 2014 when the M.Fest was held successfully. It was quite an amazing sight to behold, really. I recall someone asking one of the organising committee members, "How did you do it?" and she just replied, "It was a lot of hard work". I couldn't have agreed more, and in fact, asking such a simple question was really doing a great disservice everyone who poured their blood, sweat, and tears into the event-- it was more than just 'a lot of hard work', but how else could she have answered it?

It was a bit surreal to think that all the hours of practicing amounted to just about 20 minutes of performing time. If you think about it objectively, it's totally not worth practicing so much. But with dancing, as with most arts, you simply can't look at things just objectively. I definitely think we did a very good job with our performance, and that everyone else did a very good job with their own respective responsibilities as well.

All in all, I would like to end this long post by expressing my gratitude to the organising committee members of the Nottingham Malaysian Festival for all their planning and doowops behind the scenes, the awesome flash mob choreographers for their patience and attentiveness in teaching such a large crowd, the flash mob dancers for putting up with my constant annoyances of noise while everyone was trying to practice, and of course to my bucket drumming team for being very helpful and understanding of my nervousness and being awesome (I seem to be using that word pretty often).

It's a little saddening that I couldn't get to know more people better and that we only had the chance to meet for this event. It is highly unlikely that we'll ever have a reason to interact again with each other after this, much moreso when I return to Malaysia in just a few months' time while the rest of them continue on here in the UK. And I get a little more sad when I think about it because I do want to return home-- but at the same time I also do want to stay here-- both for the same reasons; the people I know. But well, let's save those sentiments for another post.

Paintball with the NMS, and a very tiring day.

To be updated LOL .___.