Fifth day of SPM

Moral... didn't make my morale increase.

I wonder what's wrong with me lately. I really can't sleep well at night, don't really have much appetite anymore. My mind's busy with a lot of things. What things? I don't really know. Maybe the correct question should be 'Why'. Hah! Not going to think too much about it.

Meh, I really doubt that though. Must be stress from exams.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH

Fourth day of SPM?

Don't you come and Maths with me now.

Third day of SPM

Sejarah? What?

2nd day of SPM

Hahaha, congratulations to those who looked at our blog; You're coincidentally lucky.

First day of SPM

Today was the first day of SPM: Bahasa Malaysia*. I won't talk too much about it. When I came back after the first paper though, I learnt Elinia. HAHA.

*People say Bahasa Melayu, but if you really want to "memupuk perpaduan" I'll keep referring to it as Bahasa Malaysia.

PS:// SHITTTT YOUUUU

It all started when my friends and I decided to organize a get-together at a hill resort during the school holidays. We met up at the state’s bus station and got on the bus that we chartered to take us to our destination early in the morning. The journey there, which took about 3 hours or so, was uneventful as nothing particularly interesting happened. When we arrived, the first thing we did was check into a hotel and dropped off our luggage there. My friends, being the thrill seekers that they were, immediately ran to the outdoor theme park and sat on some of the rides there. As for me, I sat out of most of the attractions as I wasn’t too fond of such things. I opted to sit near the roller coasters that my friends sat on instead and followed them around. They were not very happy about this, or maybe they just felt bad because I wasn’t joining them in their fun. So, they asked me to at least join them in a, supposedly, kiddy ride, a very mild ride that they assured I would enjoy. Since I too felt bad for not indulging in their wants for the whole trip so far, I hesitantly agreed and they quickly pulled me over to where the ride was. They brought me into a dimly lit tunnel where I could barely make out the last half of the words on a signboard which read, “… Mine Train”.

The queue for that particular ride was longer than any I’ve seen before. While waiting for our turn, my friends and I talked amongst ourselves about anything that came to our minds. It’s really easy, being friends and all. The words just come naturally. However, this time, I felt as if the conversation was artificial and I was further convinced of this when I noticed that my friends were exchanging glances from time to time and refused to meet my gaze. My attention was drawn away from them when I heard some screams in the distance. I expressed my concern about the screams to my friends but they only said it was a normal thing, that “everyone screams in a roller coaster ride”. At that particular moment, I just felt like walking away from them because I caught on to what they were planning, yet I couldn’t make my escape because we were surrounded by a lot of people and I couldn’t push through them.

About 10 minutes later, it was almost our turn to get on the ride. All the screaming made the waiting so much worse. In fact, I had already become a nervous wreck long before I could see the carriages of the roller coaster. I had the urge to make a beeline to the exit gate since it was only a railing away and I could easily jump over it but my friends knew me all too well; they had long since grabbed both my arms and prevented me from running away. I struggled in vain as they continued to maintain a vice-like grip on my arms and dragged me, against my will, to the ride. They forced me down on a seat and made sure I stayed there by strapping me in tightly. As a second line of defence, one of my friends even sat down beside me to make sure I didn’t escape… or maybe they were just afraid I might do something crazy. Whatever the reason, it made me feel slightly safer, to have someone I know sitting beside me.

The sound of metal gears clinking against each other indicated that the ride was going to move. We ascended right out of the tunnel, and only then did I realize just how high up we were. Did I mention I was acrophobic? By the time we reached the apex of the roller coaster, I was already white-faced and shaking all over. Ironically, I cursed myself for trusting my friends earlier and for not running away while I still could. As if to emphasize my despair, the ride stopped for a moment so I could only helplessly stare downwards from where I was.

Some people say that, just before dying, we are able to see our most cherished memories again. As time seemed to stop at the turning point of the roller coaster, I could practically see all the images of me in the past. I saw myself, aged four, playing a computer for the first time. Then, there was me again, eating a chicken chop all on my own. Finally, I saw myself with my friends, all of us wearing coats with ties in another country, smiling from ear to ear. Sadly, I was not able to fully enjoy those recollections of myself as we plunged, almost vertically downwards, at very alarming speeds.

The very first thing I did was close my eyes and grip the bar in front of my seat with all my might. However, I felt dizzy with my eyes closed and was forced to open them within a few seconds of their closing. Then, I saw the most amazing sight. My friends in front of me raised their arms in the air and were laughing like jackals and were facing me, as if they were not even on a roller coaster. Heck, they were even talking like normal to each other while I was holding on to my dear life. I was pretty sure they were trying to tell me something, but I just couldn’t stand it anymore. I started to scream at the top of my lungs. Even I was surprised that I could shout so loudly. I screamed, I bawled, I yelled, I screeched, I shrieked, I yodeled, and I did anything else that the English language had that was a synonym of ‘shout’. I was taken for the ride of my life, in every literal manner.

I wasn’t sure what really happened on the roller coaster. I closed my eyes sometimes, and when they weren’t closed, I was screaming my lungs out till they were. In fact, I was probably the only person screaming as everyone else was too shocked to scream themselves. The ride brought me up, down, left, right, circles, loops, and more. All this while, my friends in front of me had their hands raised and were laughing their hearts out, probably because of me. Their bodies swayed according to the motion of the carriage, left, right, left, right, but they didn’t seem to care.

It felt as if an eon had passed, but the ride finally ended when it slowed down and I couldn’t scream any longer. Although it only took a few minutes, maybe even less, I believed that the sound energy I produced within that time frame was bigger in magnitude than what I had released in the past few months. When the ride finally stopped, everyone got out except for me. My hands, cold and clammy, were glued to the safety bar in front of me and refused to listen to my brain. My friend who sat beside me had to pry my hand off the bar finger-by-finger and even so, I still couldn’t get out properly. My legs were shaking and I had trouble standing up. I was sure that, after seeing how shaken I was, I saw a few other would-be passengers simply walking away to the exit gate instead of sitting on the ride that they queued up for for more than 10 minutes. I didn’t go on anymore thrill rides after that one. I merely sat nearby and enjoyed the weather.

After it was all said and done, however, I think that that was a good experience overall. Some of my friends repeatedly apologized to me, while some of them continued to poke fun at me even until now. In all actuality, even I can just laugh it off. Maybe, just maybe, I could muster the confidence to sit that kind of ride another time when we plan another get-together. Regardless, I am glad that I did do something interesting there and I’m sure that that memory will stick with us for a long time to come.

Words of Encouragement.

The world moves, whether you're moving or not.
Therefore, even if you do move, but if it's slower than the world, than you are lagging behind.
Even so, moving slowly is better than not moving at all.
So, don't leave work half done; Late work is always better than incomplete work.
However, being late is still inappropriate.
A heartfelt apology is often required, even if you do not speak it audibly.

Kind words have their own ways to find a place in the hearts of others.
If you feel poor right now, go out of your way for once to make another person's life rich.
Generally, you feel good when the people around you feel good too.
Therefore, when your life is bare, make others' lives bountiful, and yours will be too.

Just a bit of encouragement to myself.

Morning Jog(?)

This morning I decided to jog with my friends, Glenn, JiaLin, and Jasmine. Woke up at 6.30a.m. by Isaiah's phone call, then went to check my mobile phone and there were like 12 miss calls and 5 messages. That's what you get for going to bed at 10pm. Left home at 7am, reached PETRONAS Ujong Pasir at 7.15a.m. Waited a few minutes for Glenn; then saw him running like s__h__i. Hahaha. JiaLin was behind him, she said Jasmine would take another 10 minutes since she just woke up.

Walked to Jasmine's house; saw a dog at the front door. It started barking at us, sadly. While waiting, Glenn, JiaLin and I started talking about some stuff, nothing much really.

"Need to wear make up? Don't worry la, Vincent is not here."

And some other stuff, maybe it isn't so appropriate to post here.Annnyways....

So Jasmine and her brother, James, joined us and we walked (NOTE: Did NOT jog) some distance before taking a brief (<1 minute) jog and then continued walking again. Well, there was a high tide at Portuguese Settlement, quite interesting-- And I realized that the Lady Boss is quite the hyperactive person. Walked to the jetty, spent some time there by playing at the playground. I felt like a small kid, for a moment, and I couldn't even carry myself over the monkey bars. Joked some more before walking back (Sent James home, because he had piano lessons) and going for breakfast. Well, not surprisingly, I saw my parents there too and their shocked(?) faces.

"I thought you're going with Glenn only?"

Well, at least they already knew JiaLin and Jasmine before this, so nothing interesting happened (And I thought I could joke with my parents a while). Well, that wraps up my morning today.

Forgot something interesting:

I ordered a Hot Barley drink (It was really hot), then I ate my meal. After that, the barley drink was still really really hot; so I asked the waitress for a straw. When she gave me the straw, she also gave me a cup full of ice, gotta thank her for that. Anyways, she poked fun at me saying, "Haah, tadi order barli panas. (Earlier ordered hot barley drink) "
Then I said, "Aa, itu barli sedikit terlalu panas (That barley drink was a bit too hot)"

Direct translation? Haha.

Sighhhh

Genting Trip 2010

Melancholy strikes again

Why do you always treat me so nicely;
When you know I'll take it the wrong way?
I am a lonesome teenage boy
...with only so much to say.

For I am shy, quiet, and an introvert;
I'm sure you already know.
I may not be able to take your heart away;
but I assure you my heart has already been swayed.

...By your laughter, your smile, your small gestures;
all these things that make you you.
And whats more than that;
they are what draws me to you.

I curse myself for being me;
so quiet and so shy.
Yet I long so hard to break
this lonesome shell of mine.

It's not the first time I've had this feeling
but now it's stronger than before.

"It can't be helped, it can't be helped,
You're only a teenage boy;
who has never tasted the joy of love
nor drank from the clouds above.

You should be thankful, too,
for love comes at a price.
You'll never have to taste
the bitterness of goodbyes."

Alas! I long to forget this feeling
of this broken heart of mine
and continue to live forevermore
in this sad, sad state of recline.